[22-10-25] my friends mother asked if my dog was scared of the fireworks (because their dog is) and i said no but then she asked if dora was scared of the fireworks. i had to come home. no one seems to understand how much this has effected me. 2 months and 7 days without her. i feel like im drowning.

[22-10-25] today i went to the chemist by myself. it was scary and they called me by my legal name.

[21-10-25] i cried again today. when my mother asked me if i could feed the dog, she accidentally asked me if i could feed the dog and the cat. i miss her a lot. i wish i could feed her.

[20-10-25] the first song that made me cry was walk like thunder by kimya dawson. specifically the line 'i cursed the skin that he was in / for all the ways that it had let him down'. i still get gooseflesh and tear up most times i listen. kimya dawson is such a talented songwriter. i wish i could be like her.